laugh my ass off - lol a day keeps the doctor away

Im sorry for not being the son you've wanted.

Im sorry for being a hassle to you.

Im sorry for every pain you've went through because of me.

Im sorry for all the stupid things I did.

I was a little boy, mom.

You couldn't handle me.

You didn't know me to well.

Did I resemble him in any kind of way?

Did I remind you of him?

Was it because of my disfigure?

Wasn't you proud of me?

Why did you gave up so early, mom.

I tried to fit in, really.

But it was hard, mom, I didn't know what to do most of the time.

I did not know how to be a good kid, mom.

You failed in raising me that way, mom.

I can't really blame you for having me, I was unexpected.

But you could had done a better job back then.

Things would have been better then.

Now things are just shit, mom.

How was he, mom?

My dad, I used to hang around him when I was a kid and saw him for the last time when I was eleven, he was naked and locked in. I heard he was a drug addict and tried to kill someone.

Why would you show him to me like that, mom?

He was my father, my idol, my backbone, everything that suppose to make a man out of me.

Why would you show him to me like that.

Is it because you've won over him?

Was he really that horrible?

Why do you hate him so much?

Is it because he raped you?

Is it because he made you pregnant with me?

Did I steal you're youth away?

You should had throwed me away in that river.

You told me that to me when I was small.

Back then I did not understand, couldn't really understad anything.

I was lost in my own imagination.

I've always thought about why I was a goner.

Maybe it was because there were to many pain to succumb.

I escaped it all through imagination.

Like i've always been doing.

Until now.

Now that I've realised everything.

I wish I knew my father better.

All good I remember from him was that he was a good guitar player.

He took me on a christmas carol route, when I was five years old.

We didn't really have much back then, we were the poorest family.

And I wished for toys so much, but I knew somehow we didn't have money.

But, that particular christmas eve, we managed to earn alot of money through singing carols and such.

And better yet, I recieved lots of sodas and chips by some nice people.

That was the best thing christmas ever.

That is something imprinted in my memory forever.

I miss him, he is one of the good people I will ever know.

I wish I could met him.

I wish I remember how he looked like.

Last time I saw him was that, he was all skinny and hairy.

Naked on that cell.

His only boy, seeing the was he was.

That's pretty fucked up, mom.

And you wonder why I hate you.

I wish I was somehow normal.

But nothing will be normal for me.

Not now or never.

The only thing I have is the mistakes done in the past made by you people.

I will never do the same mistakes.